Tase Me, Bro

The shooting was premeditated. Cpl. Gregg Gillis plotted it out a month in advance. Two weeks later, he nailed down the date and location: the RCMP Richmond detachment. My first thought upon waking that morning: What to wear to my own zapping?

En route to Richmond, I half expect a last-minute call to cancel my appointment with 50,000 volts of electricity. Gillis, the RCMP's use-of-force coordinator, agreed to my request just weeks after Robert Dziekański died at YVR on Oct. 14, after being tasered twice by Richmond-based RCMP officers.

Letting a journalist go through "conducted energy weapon" (CEW) training seems like the kind of trouble the RCMP would go out of its way to avoid.

Training day

But here I am and Sgt. Mike and Sgt. Gene of the undercover drug squad are my schoolmates for the day-long re-certification course, which is mandatory every three years. Their initial two-day training included "exposure" to the Taser's zap, which used to be mandatory. But with rare reports of adverse reactions, it's now only strongly recommended.

Standing on the trigger

Tarasoff reminds us that tasers fail to work 20 per cent of the time. And even with optimal deployment -- when both darts hit the subject, ideally with a 36-inch probe spread -- one out of 10 times it won't cause the ideal five seconds of neuro-muscular incapacitation.

Multiple and prolonged tasing (a.k.a "standing on the trigger" for longer than five seconds) is a hot button safety topic and one which the CPC report singled out as problematic among taser-related "adverse findings," particularly when the stun gun was "applied multiple times even after the subjects were no longer exhibiting combative or resistant behaviour."

Change of plans

At lunch break, Cpl. Gillis shows up and says the lawyers got cold feet about the plan to zap me. "As you learned this morning, there's risk of injury," says the 43-year-old RCMP expert in taser training who has been exposed more than 20 times during training and compares its effects to the muscle burn of a gym workout. "You could potentially tear a muscle and we would be on the hook for your medical expenses and loss of income. You could come after us for pain and discomfort."

I had been questioning my sanity for days and contemplated chickening out many times, but now I feel like a dinner guest promised a full meal that never materializes. Why can't I sign my life away with a waiver? Gillis says he'll make another call during lunch. "My school of thought is that if we're saying this is safe for use on the public, why not?" offers Gillis.